The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
