Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
