do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
