He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
