if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
