I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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