STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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