I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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