I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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