Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
