Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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