she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she told me i tasted like america
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
