Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
