you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
