planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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