Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
