so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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