She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
