Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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