i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
