i permit you to call me
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
PANTIES FOUND
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
