Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
