hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
