Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
