Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
