i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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