Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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