i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
