i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
