So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
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I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
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The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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