before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We were destined to go to rehab together
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
