I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
