no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
