highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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