My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she peed on how many people?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize