yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
