she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
