Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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