You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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