is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I am available for nakedness
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
