i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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