i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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