M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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