a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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