your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize