Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
