Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
