remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
