Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
