Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
