my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
