i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
