They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
