Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
