After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
