thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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