About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
