so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
