dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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