So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
