you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
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I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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