Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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